Bereavement
Definitions of Bereavement:
"To be in a sad or lonely state due to a loss or death"
"A man’s dying is more the survivor’s affair than his own"
"To be robbed of something valued"

The loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event. When coping with bereavement and grief people frequently experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death may have been expected. There is no real order to the grieving process and the feelings and emotions that you experience may range from denial and disbelief to anger, despair, shock and guilt.

These feelings are normal and are common reactions to loss. People are seldom prepared for the intensity and duration of these emotions or how swiftly their moods can change. People often say they feel like “they are losing their mind”, they question their mental stability. These feelings are appropriate, and it is common to feel like this. It is part of the grieving process.

Your grief will be expressed physically, emotionally and psychologically. Time is important, in that you must allow yourself the time to express these emotions. Death is a subject that is frequently avoided, ignored or denied. Sometimes people try to separate themselves from the pain, but grieving cannot be avoided forever. There are often physical symptoms that accompany grief, sleep disturbances, loss of weight, loss of energy to name a few. Existing illnesses may become worse or new conditions/ ailments may develop.

It seems to be part of the philosophy of our times that our health and well being are our responsibilities. This leads people to believe that everyone should be able to cope with their own bereavement, “a stiff upper lip”! This is not always possible, especially when you want to talk about your pain, your grief and the insurmountable sadness that you feel. It is difficult at times to talk to your family or friends as they have their own pain and grief to deal with. Sometimes you may feel that people don’t want to listen to you. That they have their own lives to get on with ..... you don’t want to be seen as a burden to others. It also seems at times that you are saying the same thing all the time, talking about your pain and your sadness, this is not unusual and occasionally talking to strangers helps more, especially strangers that understand your loss.